Thursday, November 18, 2010

Sex, lies, growing prostitution on the internet




The New

Hank Williams might be amused but not surprised to learn that a woman I recently met on an internet dating service appears to be doing a form of "sex for money."

A black woman of magnificent and towering charms, a serious "single mother" most eager to elicit gifts, money from a stranger.

Her voluptuous body seethed with hints of future sex.

For days she had been sending scantily clad photos to my cellphone: something a journalist is bound to note.

As the clues mounted, I used standard investigatory techniques to locate the Jacksonville, North Carolina "double wide" mobile home in which she lived -- in a nice middle class, mixed race semi-rural area.


Driving out while she was at work, I cautiously drove into her drive circle to be followed in a truck by her polite white husband and charming six year old daughter.

He had a round and pleasantly mustashioed face, and kindly backed out his truck, so that I could drive up to him for a few words.


"I am looking for Mr. Smith, (not the woman's name)" I said.


In a cautious interchange with him in his car and me in mine, I ascertained he was the husband, they were not divorced as she had claimed -- and she had not kicked him out of the house as she claimed.

I did not wish to stay around for coffee.


Checking "Facebook" with a friend we located her wish list of luxuries she wished to own in a year.


Things she was trying to scam gently and indirectly from me. Well above my pay grade. And with no services rendered.


When gently confronted by text message and phone, she put out a fresh line, more likely true: that she was in the midst of a divorce, moneyless, facing the loss of her mobile home.

All the while, as our research indicated, in search for luxuries.


There was, of course, no sex....only a hint of it.....



The Old

We see a growing pattern of prostitution and such on the internet --- both on broader internet and and dating services. And many many escort services advertised in this area.

One other woman was a lovely black hospital worker, both slim and buxom of build.

I met her on a computer dating service. She invited me to her house in Greenville, North Carolina for a sparkling three hour chat.

And then came the text messages asking for "a favor:" could I spare $100 here and there?

She had earlier shown me her bedroom with the comment, "This is where we play."

"A friend with benefits" was what she sought.

She was stunning and charming and sophisticated -- although her bathroom toilet lacked a handle.

I felt that as a journalist of record it was not my part to participate.

I did offer to fix her toilet handle. She declined.

The combination of hard times and high tech gives new imperatives and new opportunities to the modern variety of "con women" and "sex workers."

Some are medical workers.


Some are inveterate beauties, one I met a former airline stewardess, trying to get "help" in return for sex. Many are single mothers.


In the black culture there is a long tradition of sex for gifts. With the full knowledge that a white man will be more vulnerable to a pitch. White women may be more skillful at covering up the nature of this transaction.


As a black woman friend told me, "A black man would laugh off this pitch." But a white and lustful bleeding heart, that's another story.


Many are spurred by minimum wage jobs, the crunch of not being able to meet their needs in this declining economy. Or a thirst for luxuries their incomes will not afford.


Now, it is not all black. A retired white New Bern, North Carolina nurse with many expenses, whom I met on the dating service "Matchcom," recently offered to supply sex for a regular monthly stipend.

I could not help but notice that she was "poured into her jeans."

"Maybe it's time to change careers," she confided. Needless to say I did not take her up on this -- although I did a little bargaining for journalism's sake.

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Confessions of a "recovering idealist"


*****



*****
"Moritzism"

Stay "armed" young man. Stay "armed"
(When the wages of virtue can be death)

"Shit" is what you make of it.
Never rely on goodness in others.
Nor show excessive kindness lest
that be taken for weakness.
Be careful whom you trust
for the Devil can come
to you with the face
of an Angel




It's all in how you play the game.
Play for all, settle for less, and always have
an exit strategy
.


Hope for the best.
Prepare for the worst.
Do not expect mercy from others.

Grant it whenever you can.

Laugh and Love
(But above all laugh
for love requires at least two)



*****


"Farewell, farewell! but this I tell

To thee, thou Wedding-Guest!

He prayeth well, who loveth well

Both man and bird and beast.


"He prayeth best, who loveth best

All things both great and small;

For the dear God who loveth us,

He made and loveth all."


Samuel David Coleridge
The Rime of the Ancient Mariner


******

A personal theology in film
Confronting evil with restrained firmness
("A little caution makes for a longer life")



******

A personal theology in song


Some women wait for Jesus, and some women wait for Cain
so I hang upon my altar and I hoist my axe again.
And I take the one who finds me back to where it all began

when Jesus was the honeymoon

and Cain was just the man.


-Leonard Cohen





Saving a Space for Love









Love Without End

*****

Constructing a personal theology involves not just abstract theological texts, but an examination of one's entire life experience.

My own was 69 years in the making -- flowing from an idealistic Quakerly stress on the merits of kindness to a realization that weakness will be exploited, that in situations charged in power, an effort to get along can be a road to disaster.

Avoid too much "loving kindness," too much trust -- unless you hold plenty of the cards.

Stay armed young man, stay armed.

My own voyage reflects my academic and journalism career, my personality, and the nature of my childhood formative times.

These reflections are based on 55 years of studying issues of war and peace, numerous years as journalist and foreign correspondent, and the sometimes searingly brutal realities of academic politics -- where the worst of human nature is often revealed.

I cannot say that I have come much farther than my rejection of Quaker idealism in the 1950's. I grew up in the shadow of the Holocaust -- and learned through hard personal experience that weakness in the name of kindness is no substitute for the ability to manipulate, to hang tough.

So I end up with the theologian Reinhold Niebuhr discovering what is obvious on the streets: that the strong will bully the weak -- and that love (if it hides weakness) will not conquer all.

His classic, Moral Man and Immoral Society, is as relevant today as when first published in 1932.

Experience is my teacher. It taught me nothing that prophet Niebuhr did not warn me of fifty years ago.

The Serenity Prayer
by Reinhold Niebuhr




An idealist may choose safe venues where a veneer of respectability cloaks the cutthroat aspects of life.


But when one ventures out beyond the Eden-like garden of middle class affluence and security one must handle oneself with care.


Saintliness presupposes a willingness to be martyred.


Those of us who are not saints and who have little wish to be martyred had best stay well armed.


Set limits, be firm, do not "speak truth to power" unless you are willing to suffer the consequences.

They can be swift and brutal.

Acquaintances along your road will be exactly as cruel and ruthless as you allow them to be.

*****

In aggregate terms, good often triumphs. But evil will most likely triumph for the individual who does not cultivate strength and the ability to ward off bullies.

This is one reason why toughness and the ability to thoroughly engage in the most brutal of conflicts is essential for the maintenance of most forms of civilization.




The lawyer, the police officer, and the army are powerful and sacred instruments of "God's Will."

These can all be misused, but without them "we are lost."

We can note they are not by themselves sufficient, that they too must be restrained.

True, the advent of new technologies can spread sunlight on evil -- and help dissolve its harmful nature.

But even as we speak, new forms of destruction are being prepared by men and women who will willingly inflict massive pain and death.

Never forget the dark side of the moon.

Gandhi can be nice.

But think twice before turning in your gun.

*****

One way to protect oneself and sally forth in success is to acquire skills and property which other people need.

Then they will develop and show to you their finer points --- respond more positively to shows of reasonable virtue.

When armed with weapons or valuable commodities, one can more easily bring out the positive side of people.


But be careful. Beneath the smiles can be sharks waiting to come out.

If you don't have something valued to sell, you are vulnerable if weak.


Most people instinctively know this without extensive study.


For them there is no reason to construct a blog such as this.


But for some of us who are perennially tempted to be too nice, it is important to stay "on point."

Label Fred "a recovering idealist."


Damn, why did it take so long?

Oh, Lord, perhaps there is still time.



*****
Saving a space for sacrifice
Ft. Wagner: black and white "saints"
of the Civil War

Sometimes there is no choice
but to choose





******
Sometime this year I will rent a kayak to lay a wreath at what remains of Battery Wagner off Charleston Harbor.

In honor of Robert Gould Shaw and the 54th colored Massachusetts.

Where their sacrifice in front of rebel guns helped open the way for racial equality in the U.S.


Saint Robert was shot down at 25, an idealist.

He scarcely had time to recover from an idealism which was, in part, thrust upon him.

Sometimes there is no choice but to lift idealism's flag.

The price can be high -- when one succumbs to temptation.

Do it if you must....but do not be surprised if "the wages of virtue are death."


******

Monday, November 15, 2010

When under fire, no need to shoot the horse


Keeping things in perspective...



Remington New Army .36 cal.
1863 Police (Navy) revolver




Who needs to shoot horses
when you own a sweet baby .36 cal. Colt 1851 "Navy" revolver like the one above?

Or a .36 cal. Remington New Army Police (Navy) 1863 revolver like the one below:




******

U.S. Army tests back in 1835 urged a .45 cal. pistol to stop a horse.

But what are the chances I will face a cavalry attack in my mobile home park?

Most of my enemies will come "on foot."

Yet never say never.

There may come a time when I need to shoot a horse -- what with the way the world is going now!

It's no fun to be sabered by a rider on a pale horse.

But why be overarmed for the "worst possible case?"

Keep things in perspective.

For now the .36 is fine.

Still, keep a bigger gun in the background, just in case...

Now, scroll down to meet my two late gunfighter friends: William Hickok and John Wesley Hardin.

Each of them was satisfied with a .36.

"Men for all seasons" -- they each carried a Colt Navy Revolver.

Until they each got shot in the back of the head.

Not something to write home about.

******


Watch this video on outlaw
John Wesley Hardin's
.36 Navy Colt


******
Last night I loaded up my classic modern made .36 Navy Colt (Model of 1851) to use for home defense.


It replaces, for now, my heavier .45 Colt Army Model 1860, "New Dragoon."



Why not keep the lighter, perfectly balanced, fast handling weapon close at hand?

(It bears the name "Navy" because of the engraving of a naval engagement on its cylinder)

A classic piece once used by abolitionist John Brown and General Robert E. Lee.

-- Not to mention gunfighter "Wild Bill" Hickok and outlaw John Wesley Hardin.

I also have handy the .36 cal. Remington Police model.

*****
Now, to be sure, no one tries to break into my mobile home park...

Still, I believe it's unsporting to use a modern weapon in self defense.

If the old style was good enough for the guys who really needed it, it should be good enough for me.

Here is the company I kept, both of whom killed with a "Navy."


"Wild Bill:" lawman, gunfighter

******
Gunfighter, lawyer


The 1851 was the first "cap and ball" Colt Revolver light enough to be carried at the belt -- rather than in a horse holster.

But powerful enough to do real damage.

True the Model 1860 "New Dragoon" was preferred by cavalrymen -- for, as I said, army tests of 1835 concuded a minimum of .45 caliber was needed to down a charging horse.

British soldiers who used the lighter .36 during the Crimean War of 1853-56 found themselves sometimes sabered by charging mounted Cossacks.

Not something to write home about.




But I am not on horse.

Nor am I facing horsemen -- breaking into my home.

Not yet, anyway....

Just in case I hear the sound of horse, let's keep my two Remington .45 army revolvers on reserve.

It's a more reliable gun than the Colts.

(Based on an 1858 patent, the improved version was issued in 1863, in time to be the "top gun" of the American Civil War)

"No problem." As they say.